The life that we are bestowed with is truly a miracle. This precise miracle gets overshadowed with the contradictions that we live with. Contradictions like, the young want to be older and the old want to be young again; the dark want to be fair and the fair want to darken; the short want to be tall and the tall ones have their own problems. And just the same way, the single want to mingle and the ones with partners want to break free. Isn’t that complicated enough? Well, let’s take a moment and say aloud – “I am single. I am single! I AM SINGLE”. Yes. It is not to rub salt on your wounds but for you to embrace it than dread it. Acceptance is the key to great decisions. It is, in fact, very empowering. Look at you. You live your life all by yourself because you are capable of being single and independent. If you still hate your relationship status, take another moment to remember all the things you have dealt with alone.
- I am bored : Get a hobby and polish your skills. Even the neighbor’s dog learns something new everyday.
- I want a partner : Get a single buddy (male/female) to be your proxy date/partner for social events. You’ll both have someone for the dreaded +1.
- I am depressed : Get a Netflix account and watch some comedies. I ♥ Hollywood! You can watch them online too, for free.
- I need some romance : Heard about speed-dating? Date as many people as you like. Be feisty.
- I hate being a single parent : Get a nanny! You won’t even have to worry about your Jude Law.
- I can’t handle my finances : Get a second job and stop spending like a squanderer.
- I can’t manage household chores : Omg! You gotta be Garfield, now. Time to hire help.
- I want to procreate : Get a pet before you make such a big life decision. Babies come with a no-return policy.
- My biological clock is ticking : This world has many orphaned children who could use some loving. Respect for Angelina Jolie, seriously.
- I hate being alone : Get a pet again. Start chilling out with friends and create some memories.
- I have urges : Correct me if I am wrong, but, isn’t that why people have flings?
- I need to feel attractive : Join the gym, buy some new clothes and get flirty with a stranger (I know my ideas can be controversial). But, hey! Whatever floats your boat. No judging.
- I want to be married/settle down : To whom? Anybody just for the heck of it? Wait for love or marry your mate.
- I am the last single guy/girl in my gang : Get a real life! You only want to be with someone for the thrill of changing your Facebook relationship status. Plus, you are desperate! Face it.
So, you feel terrible being single? Is that how much you hate yourself? The very fact that you are focused on the ‘single’ part instead of love gives it away. Wait for love if you are so keen on it because it may be unpredictable but it definitely exists and finds us all at its own will, when it thinks you deserve it.
Why Being Single is Good
“To be happy when single,
you must feel complete being alone.” Urvashi Pokharna
I get it, being single can sometimes get frustrating, especially when all you want to do is pour your heart out to someone after a long and tiresome week. Ever heard about the concept of friendship? It is really not the statistic on your Facebook page. Step into the real world and make contact with your friends or make new ones. A friend will always stand by you, listen to you yak, stretch out a hand when you fall, share all your sorrows and joys. It feels amazing telling my friends and family each and every day that I love them and I will always be there for them. Somehow, it makes me feel stronger to be able to live my life, be happy being alone and still be able to look out for those so dear to me.
That is an enriching relationship. But, you won’t find this with every person and that is why you should be happy being single till then. It is neither healthy to be desperate to have a relationship, nor is it to be a commitment phobe. It is one life to cherish so stop limiting yourself by fearing or longing for a relationship. Not every relationship doubles your wings so you can fly higher. Many manage to clip them off. It’s better to be happy alone than to be stuck in such a rut. Happiness can be found in the most unexpected places and the most astounding activities. Seldom do romantic partners inspire you to move out of your comfort zone and do something that will truly quench the innate thirst for progression inside you. Seldom do we do it for our own selves.
Every time I think to myself, “Damn, I don’t think I can ever do that.”, pat comes the reply from a tiny voice in my head, “Challenge Accepted”. It feels great to be able to learn a new skill and prove yourself wrong. I get the kicks out of it. And then again, like I said before, we all have our flaws. Since you are single and have no commitments of time or space to be made to anyone, take this time to fight those flaws ALONE. It could be getting rid of the habit of non-punctuality, lying, lethargy, becoming a slave to vices like smoking, drinking or eating, being a spendthrift or short-tempered and all those flaws that you think keep you from becoming a better person. Use this time to reconnect with the people in your life that you have been otherwise neglecting. Once you become a twosome, it might not be possible to do that very often. Go visit your parents and old friends. Cook a meal for them or just go to an amusement park like old times when you were a child. Try to recreate memories of your childhood that remind you of the innocence-filled days when you may not have known the meaning of happiness but, nevertheless, it didn’t stop you from feeling it.
The reason why you are still single and unhappy is may be you aren’t ready for an attachment yet. Look at yourself, you are not even willing to make that commitment to yourself yet. Have you wondered? Your unhappiness with your own self and your own life is probably the reason you are repelling love and relationships. That kind of negativity got no one anything better.
Your life is a mirror of your mind. It doesn’t dictate your emotions. Your thoughts do and you choose to think them.